The Right Allegiance
by Teacup of JAG
Summary: Shipper therapy if we were to entertain the NCIS LA season finale regarding their relationship status.
1. Chapter 1

**The Right Allegiance**

A/N: *Spoiler alert, I guess, for that whole NCIS LA thing. This isn't a story I wanted to write, but it was necessary therapy for me after the blow from the NCIS LA episode that broke my heart. I am ashamed to admit it, but I became so attached to these two characters and the way they developed over the years, and my belief in them facing anything together, that having heard that they self-destructed their relationship has really made me feel physically ill.

I'm not even going to list why the show was utterly ridiculous in many ways with regards to our JAG characters. I was happy with our open-ended hope at the end of the series, and I suspected more with each previewed clue of the NCIS LA show, that the writers would butcher the relationship that some of us so love. But I watched anyhow.

The TV writers'/producers' motivation is viewership, not keeping in line with character growth and keeping true to certain principles. So, I guess they figured that what made Harm and Mac work on TV was their 'we all know they love each other, but they can't get it together, but maybe they will someday' formula, so let's do that again. Or maybe this is a set up for other TV plans.

Point being, I was hurt and needed therapy, so I did what was natural to me … I wrote a story to do as much damage control in my head as possible to help ease my heart. Not a rewrite, but a sorting through of things based on the suppositions given. After being depressed Monday, after work, I got out my pen and pad of paper and stayed up half the night, eight hours straight, writing this story. (Yes, it's finished – converting it to being typed now.)

For as unforgiveable as I find what happened on NCIS LA, I do have to be grateful that they didn't make it even worse … At least they do heavily hint that Harm and Mac still have a chance. I do hope that they at least set things right, even if I'm generally planning on believing that Harm and Mac have been living a very happy life together all along.

So, on with the story …

**The Right Allegiance – Introduction**

The small statured woman declared over the satellite feed, "XO, we'll be needing someone from the USS Allegiance to come here to Los Angeles for a debriefing now that this incident is finally behind us. … I was thinking that since you monitored the situation most closely, that you would be the most logical choice."

Harm nodded slightly, a feeling of apprehension and elation mixing together at the suggestion. After all, … _**she **_was in L.A. He'd be in the same city as _her_ if he went. But he had been the one working with NCIS, so it should be him to go. Although, he wasn't quite sure that going to their base of operations was really proper protocol in this situation. Nonetheless, he muttered, "I'll see about making arrangements now that things have quieted."

"Excellent," said Hetty. "And Captain, … I'll send you a list of some possible accommodations. I think you could use a nice break from military facilities after being on an aircraft carrier so long. You might even want to stay for a few days."

"I'd appreciate that list, Ma'am."

And that was how he ended up here. Just outside of L.A. After the list had been sent, after the debriefing, Hetty had pushed another piece of paper into his hand; it listed a phone number and an address. He recognized the number. It hadn't changed. The address was new, but he had no doubt to whom it belonged. He had looked up at Hetty with doubt in his eyes.

Her reply was simply, "Some place you should probably visit while you're in town."

TBC …


	2. Chapter 2

And now he was standing outside her door, unsure if he should be here. Maybe this would be a colossal disaster, but he had to see her. Didn't he? In person. Just to know. Just to see her in the flesh. … He knocked.

Within less than a minute, the door opened and the smile she wore disappeared, turning into an expression of shock.

"Harm? … What are you doing here?"

At first, the sight of her rendered him speechless. She truly did look fantastic. Older, sure, since the last time he'd been standing by her in person, but beautiful nonetheless.

"I was in the neighborhood," he lamely stated when he finally found his voice.

Mac, likewise, lost her ability to speak, but just for a moment. "Um … I was getting ready to go out," was all her brain could muster. Her evening activities having been foremost in her thoughts just prior to answering the door.

"I'm sorry," Harm said. "I should have called. I just figured if you said you were busy now, I'd lose my nerve."

Still flustered, Mac shook her head. "I have a few minutes before I have to go, but … um, you could come back. How long are you in town?"

"Uh, … just the weekend, … if that. … I might go visit my parents."

Part of her wanted to drop everything for him, but at the same time … she had a life. She shouldn't change her plans just because he stopped by without notice. She didn't know why he was here, and she cursed her heart for its ache at seeing him.

"Did you need something from me?" she asked.

"I … just wanted to talk. … To see you in person."

"Come back tonight. I should be back in three hours."

He smiled sadly. "Maybe I shouldn't."

And she knew that he wouldn't come back. She sighed. She wanted to be with him if even for a little bit.

"Come in." She stood aside to allow him entrance. "I wasn't expecting company to come here, so excuse the mess."

This was awkward. Her treating him like a guest. They had lived together, created messes together, cleaned up after each other …

"I don't mean to intrude, Mac." He couldn't stop himself from asking about her plans. "Hot date?"

She looked offended.

"Sorry," he quickly offered. "I have no right to ask."

"No, you don't. Not any more than I have the right to ask if you're seeing anyone. … We gave up those rights."

"I'm not," he answered anyhow, hoping that deep down, it would matter to her that he wasn't involved with anyone else.

She didn't respond to that, instead changing the subject. "Despite the fiasco, it was good to see you doing well at sea. I'm glad."

"Yeah, and you're doing great. … Seeing you made me realize how much I missed you. … I mean, I think about you every day … always, but seeing you … I just … I've missed you."

It was the look in his eyes that was her undoing. Another few seconds passed, before she made a declaration. "I'll make a phone call. Have a seat," she said, gesturing to her couch. _Their_ couch? He remembered it when it was theirs at least.

Mac left the room, but Harm overheard her saying that something had come up and she wouldn't be able to make it after all.

She returned a moment later. She wanted to go to him. To embrace him. But that wasn't appropriate. Not anymore. "You want something to drink?" she asked.

Something snapped inside of Harm. He stood. "No, Mac. Don't treat me like a guest. We know each other too well for that."

"It's been _nine_ years," she insisted, reminding him of the last time, video connections regarding terrorist plots notwithstanding, since they had seen each other.

He immediately remembered her saying a similar line about 'nine years' once before … the night they became engaged. The night that was full of so much hope after he offered a clumsy proposal in response to a deadline.

"I've missed you so much," was all he said.

"I've missed you, too," she admitted.

"I've never stopped loving you." He took a step closer.

"I know," she said. She sensed that. But sadly, she continued, "It just wasn't meant to be."

He nodded, but reached for her in invitation. He was so desperate for contact with her of any sort.

She was not immune to the magnet that was him and found herself drawing him in for a hug. A friendly hug … just to be enveloped in his arms for old times' sake.

And with the touch … the awkwardness abated. It was familiar, and comfortable, and electric at the same time. Right now, no words were needed. Just the blissful, long embrace. Neither one wanted to let go. … Their chemistry was creating a bond.

Eventually, Mac raised her head to look at Harm's face … really take him in. With her fingers, she traced along some of the new 'age lines.' Yes, he was older. Not the 'stick boy' she had originally fallen in love with. But his eyes … those had not changed, except that there was a sadness about them and a nervousness that she wasn't used to associating with him. Nonetheless, she recognized the window to his soul … the man she would always love.

She closed her eyes and put her head to his chest, strengthening her hold on him. He brought his arm up across her shoulders, cradling her close, as he leaned his head down against hers, kissing her crown, taking in the scent that was uniquely hers. Drawn in, he started nuzzling into her hair … until he was laying soft kisses along the side of her face.

He hadn't come here for this, and he half expected her to push him away. But at the moment, it felt so right … so needed.

But she felt the same and leaned into his familiar touch. She eventually opened her eyes and moved her head just enough to register the look he wore and the proximity of their mouths, before bridging the gap, … closing her eyes again, giving in to the magical feeling of his lips on hers. It was as if a part of her soul awoke as they exchanged light kisses which were becoming increasingly long and increasingly deep.

Soon, hands were roaming, awakening in each other long dormant feelings and sensations. Breathing was becoming more and more labored as everything became more desperate, more intense. Harm's hands started wandering under her shirt while Mac started untucking Harm's.

Somewhere through the fog, Harm had the wherewithal, albeit, between kisses, to ask, … before things got too far, "Is this … okay?"

Mac merely kissed him more in response, but he pulled back and met her eyes with his. "Sarah, … tell me this is okay," he begged.

"Yes," she breathed. He had never asked her in such a manner before, and it unnerved her. … But didn't quell the desire.

"Your date?" he murmured, using Herculean strength to pull back. "Who you cancelled with?" reminding her, if need be, if there was someone else in her life now.

"No date," she assured him. "Cancelled dinner with friends."

He smiled … the first genuine smile in a long time. "Thank God," he proclaimed and kissed her deeply.

Just as she was about to push him down to the couch with a move she had done with him so many times in the past, he interjected, "Bedroom?"

She paused and looked at him in question. He had rarely insisted on a change in location once things started heating up between them.

"I'm not as young as I used to be," he explained.

Mac took a moment and pulled slightly away before grasping his hand and leading the way to the place they would reunite in the most intimate of ways.

TBC …


	3. Chapter 3

A/N – Thanks for the reviews. And thanks to all the other fanfic authors out there for having kept Harm and Mac together in many brilliant scenarios over the years. I've been in lurker mode for far too long, but I really do think there's a value to giving us shipper fans alternatives to what the 'official' writers came up with. Anyhow here's the next part of what I wrote that night as my therapy.

…**..**

Opening his eyes, Harm took in the form beside him, covered with only a sheet and beads of sweat. She was smiling … and she was gorgeous.

"I've missed this," he said, before he could censor himself.

Her eyes opened at that, and she half-chuckled. "Well, we were always good at this part of things."

She rolled over towards him and snuggled against him with her head on his chest.

Despite the closeness, and the tenderness of her touch, her next words were sobering. "This doesn't change anything, you know."

Harm didn't respond except to gently stroke her skin.

She continued, "You're going back to sea. And I'm staying here. … And that's that."

Silence reigned for a while longer, while both of them stared out into nothingness, reveling in the warmth of each other, feeling a mixture of satisfaction and sadness.

Eventually, Harm, seemingly out of nowhere, said, "I failed you, Sarah."

Mac lifted her head and shifted to look at him.

"Don't blame yourself, Harm. You are who you are, and I am who I am. … You've got a great career. I'm really proud of you. I can't fault you for needing to get back to your jet planes, being where the action is. … We couldn't both pursue our careers and be together. I've accepted that."

He shook his head. "I would never have left you just to get back to the action. … If you can even call it that."

She glared at him, confused. "I distinctly remember a heated conversation between us when you said exactly that. You were restless, routine civilian law didn't interest you, you wanted to be part of something more important, … flying is in your blood …"

"And all that was true," he agreed. "But …"

"But?" By this time, Mac was sitting up, protectively keeping the sheet covering herself.

Harm pulled himself up to a sitting position as well. "I couldn't give you what I promised."

A piece clicked into place for her. "Having a baby," she said softly.

He nodded.

"Harm, not conceiving was because of my problem, not yours."

"Yeah, but I really believed we could beat the odds."

Mac shook her head and started to dress herself. "You're not a superhero, Harm. No matter how much you think you are. … Besides, wasn't it always you who said it didn't matter how it happened? We never even followed through on adoption, because with the separate lives we started leading, and both being military with you doing carrier duty, it wasn't realistic."

Harm grabbed his boxers and started getting dressed as well. "We didn't follow through on adoption, because every time I mentioned it, you didn't want to discuss it!"

"I didn't want to discuss it, because I wasn't ready to give up the dream of naturally conceiving back then. I would have eventually come around if things hadn't changed."

At that, Harm froze, midway through putting his shirt back on to look at her.

Mac took a deep breath. So many old emotions she had tried to bury. "It doesn't matter. What's done is done. And you have done great for yourself." She tilted her head, smiling slightly. "You're living your dream."

Finally having put his shirt on, Harm declared, "But, I'm not."

"What do you mean?"

"You know me, Mac. I'm a doer. A hunter. A man of action who wants to make a difference."

"Exactly."

"Mac, the recent … incident, there were terrorists on my ship, battles happening worldwide, and the schemers being made to talk. And you know what role I played in all that?"

Mac didn't have a chance to answer.

"I watched," he declared. "… I watched other people take action and make differences while people simply reported to me. … You made a difference getting a key player to cooperate. … The best I got to do was stop a runner on my ship … and he would have been caught anyhow."

"Okay, … you didn't get to personally save the world this time … but you're still out there on a regular basis, flying your jets, being the XO. You could have your own ship soon."

"I love to fly," Harm admitted. " … But it's not bringing me the joy it once did. It hasn't for a while. At this point, I kind of take it for granted. And the higher a leader you get to be, the less you get to do. People report to you, sure, but you're not personally making much difference. … And, it's damn lonely."

She was floored. "You're really not happy?"

He looked down. "I think I went back to carrier life because I was running to something that was important to me before I met you."

"Why?"

"Because it was easier to not think about you and the baby I couldn't give you."

At that, Mac stood up and walked out of the bedroom. When Harm didn't follow, she came back to the doorframe.

"You're an idiot!" she declared.

"I know," he admitted, contritely.

"You couldn't have told me this a decade ago?! When it could have made a difference?"

"I'm sorry."

Mac huffed. "So, you're unhappy. We never got to raise a child together, and you and I never really got even started," she summarized. "… The only reason I didn't fight our separation was because I wanted you to be happy doing what you love."

"I thought you'd be better off without me. … I never wanted to lose you."

"You didn't consider me not wanting to lose you?"

He didn't answer.

" … So, what now?" she asked.

"I don't know," he admitted. "Generally, we take turns running and pushing each other away."

"Yeah, you ran. … So far and so completely that it's been _nine _years since we've even seen each other! You left me … like everyone else I've ever cared about."

"I'm sorry." It wasn't enough. He knew that.

"Yeah. … So, what's the plan now?"

"Probably you pushing me away for not being good enough for you."

There was a long pause. But Mac finally responded. "And if I didn't?"

Harm swallowed. "I was thinking I'd retire."

"And what would you do with yourself to feel useful?"

"Well, … I know it's a lot later than we planned, but if we got married, we might be able to apply for adoption … maybe find a child from another country who needs parents? Or maybe at least taking in a foster child …"

"You want to become parents at our age?"

"If we can find a feasible opportunity, and if you're still interested."

"You're insane!" she declared. "And your source of income and new career would be what?"

"We could live off of my pension and your salary for a while. … And I've got a lot saved."

"And you'd be doing what to make yourself happy, 'making a difference?'" she asked.

He shrugged. "Maybe, I'd try the most challenging role of all."

"Which would be?"

"Stay at home dad?" he suggested with a smile.

Mac laughed. "You're kidding."

"Maybe not." He reached out to grab her hand. "How about 'stay at home husband' for starters? … And I could do some volunteer work."

"This is even more ridiculous than flipping a coin to have 'fate keep us together' … which obviously didn't work, by the way."

"Fate did bring us back together," he pointed out.

She countered, "I think that was Hetty and a terrorist cell."

"That, too," he admitted.

She thought for a moment. "What if we don't get approved anywhere for adoption? What if there is no child … ever?"

Harm looked her in the eyes. "Then at least I'll have you. That's all I've ever really wanted … to never lose you."

Mac sighed. She let go of his hand and walked out to the living room.

This time, Harm followed. "You don't have to make any decision tonight, Mac. … If you don't want to even see me for another nine years, I'll understand. … But, I'm still going to retire. I can't keep pretending that aircraft carrier life still makes me happy."

Mac stood there in disbelief. How things had changed in just a few hours, after so long. How was she supposed to respond?

Clarifying, she asked, "And my choices are to marry you or to push you away?"

"Those are two options," he stated. "I will keep loving you no matter what," he assured her, "… always and forever."

"Eternity," muttered Mac. Based on a memory from long, long ago, she stated, "It actually_** is**_ how long we were going to wait." It certainly felt like it had been an eternity.

Feeling it best not to push anymore, Harm simply told her, "Let me know what you think. I'll leave now … if you want me to. So, you can think about it?" He didn't want to go, but he didn't want to pressure her.

"I know my answer," she answered. Looking him in the eyes, she firmly stated, "It's my turn to push."

His face fell, at the thought of her pushing him away. But what did he expect? … Certainly not her next move.

Mac suddenly pushed him down so he fell backwards onto the couch, swiftly following to cover his body with hers and fusing their mouths together."

"Mac?" Harm gasped, when he was once again able to breath.

"I love you, Harm," she stated. "I will _**always**_ love you. … And I want us to be together."

Harm ignored his protesting back, as their lips met again in celebration.

TBC …


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: So, shipper therapy can be somewhat individual. I didn't make everyone happy with my last post, but that's okay. I won't satisfy everyone with this post either, as I take a turn of sorts, cliché or not; it's much happier than what we got. Hey, it's where my muse in therapy mode took me, and I was getting pretty darned tired by the time of night I was writing this part of the story, so it is what it is and what made me happiest. (Oh, and Jan, I didn't forget Mattie!) Anyhow, join me if you'd like …

…

Harm's eyes were closed as he continued to delight in her kisses, running his fingers through her long hair …

Her long hair? Mac didn't have long hair anymore. Not since their first few years together as a couple.

He opened his eyes and saw his marine, a younger version, there with him. He immediately noticed that on his left hand that was stroking her hair, there was a shiny gold band.

He blinked. Same couch. But the room was different. Not 'her new living room.' It was _**their**_ living room.

"Hey, honey," she greeted him. "I come home and find you asleep on the couch. You okay?" Mac asked.

"Uh, yeah." Reality started to come back to him. Mac had woken him up with kisses … his favorite way to be awoken by her.

"I was dreaming," he muttered.

"A good dream or a bad dream?" she asked, realizing that he had not yet completely shaken it off.

He hesitated. "… Different. … It was years from now, and you and I weren't together anymore." He rubbed his forehead.

She sat up more fully and cocked an eyebrow. "Should I be worried that you didn't classify that as a bad dream?"

"Well, we got back together …." Then, he half-grinned. "… And we slept together."

Giving her some slight insight as to why it might not have wholly been a bad dream, she merely commented, "One of _**those**_ dreams."

Harm didn't often admit to his sex dreams, but on the occasions that he did …

He smiled, more than willing to drop chaff. "Yeah, but they're never as good as reality." He pulled her in for another sweet kiss.

She noted that he still seemed somewhat distracted a moment later, though. "This dream affected you," she concluded. "Why weren't we together?"

Harm shrugged. "Careers, I guess." There was something more to it, but careers had been part of it.

Mac sat up fully again. "You've been thinking more about your job?" she asked, even though she already knew the answer. "You said you weren't happy the other day."

Harm didn't like to remember that particular discussion, which verged on an argument. But he had to admit that he was restless in his current position.

"Thinking about it, yeah. I'd like to play with some options."

Mac had now had some time to reflect and calm down since they last had this discussion. She hadn't been upset that he wanted a new job. She was upset, because she feared he was regretting following her in the first place. Her reflection had led her to conclude that the best thing she could do was to tell him that she was devoted to him, regardless, and she told him so.

"I'll support you, Harm. No matter what you decide. … Even if you went back to flying off a carrier."

Harm immediately made an awkward face at that, which was not what Mac expected. She had been half-joking with that last part, after all. "You're not seriously thinking about going back to carrier life, are you?"

"No," Harm assured her, sitting up. "Definitely not. Even if they would take me, which I highly doubt at this point. I belong here with my family." He grabbed her hands, rubbing his thumb over her engagement and wedding rings.

Mac was glad to hear Harm's priority, but she still frowned a bit. "Well, your family that's here right now is just me," she said, slightly despondent.

She'd hoped that they would have conceived and had a child by now. With Mattie away at school, it was just the two of them.

He hated to see her so disappointed. He recalled parts of his dream again, and became somewhat inspired. "Mac … you and I … we have a lot of love, right? Enough to share with Mattie, and our own child … if that happens?"

"Of course," Mac agreed.

"What if we spread the love a little more?"

"I don't understand."

"What if we don't make adopting a child as our back up plan, but we do both? Adopt and keep trying for our own?"

"Uh …"

He could see Mac's walls going up. "No pressure," he insisted. "Just something to think about."

She looked away. Harm reached to grace his hand alongside her face, bringing her eyes back to his. "I'm not giving up on the idea of us having one naturally," he assured her.

When he paused enough to make sure that the message was received, he grinned. "As a matter of fact, you want to try and conceive right now?" The look on his face was more silly than seductive. It was enough to break Mac's momentary funk.

She smiled back. "I want to eat right now." She stood and headed to the kitchen.

"Fine," Harm sighed. He knew by now not to get between a marine and her dinner when she was feeling hungry. He followed her. "How was your day, anyhow?"

"Good," she said. "Hectic. … NCIS was at the office. I met the most remarkable woman. A tiny woman, but very … wise. … Or at least, she gave that impression."

"Hetty?" asked Harm.

"You've met her?" Mac asked.

Harm rubbed his head. "I'm not sure."

TBC …

A/N: This is where my original story ended – when I needed sleep. I decided to add on just a little bit more since then to give it a more proper ending, so there will be one more part. And yes, I realize that there's no way this would happen on NCIS:LA, because … well, it just won't. Especially this scenario where I take them backwards a few years, when I felt it might be a relevant dream at a pivotal moment for them. But this is fanfic, so it can totally happen here.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Thanks for the positive reviews, and sorry for the delay in posting. There are kind of weird breaks in this last part, so I'll start with where the last chapter ended. Here's hoping some readers enjoy my spin on the situation and how I wrap things up here.

. . .

(From previous chapter)

"What if we don't make adopting a child as our back up plan, but we do both? Adopt and keep trying for our own?"

"Uh …"

He could see Mac's walls going up. "No pressure," he insisted. "Just something to think about."

She looked away. Harm reached to grace his hand alongside her face, bringing her eyes back to his. "I'm not giving up on the idea of us having one naturally," he assured her.

When he paused enough to make sure that the message was received, he grinned. "As a matter of fact, you want to try and conceive right now?" The look on his face was more silly than seductive. It was enough to break Mac's momentary funk.

She smiled back. "I want to eat right now." She stood and headed to the kitchen.

"Fine," Harm sighed. He knew by now not to get between a marine and her dinner when she was feeling hungry. He followed her. "How was your day, anyhow?"

"Good," she said. "Hectic. … NCIS was at the office. I met the most remarkable woman. A tiny woman, but very … wise. … Or at least, she gave that impression."

"Hetty?" asked Harm.

"You've met her?" Mac asked.

Harm rubbed his head. "I'm not sure."

. . .

**(New part)**

**. . .**

He paused for another moment. "I must have. … She was in my dream."

"Really?" Mac asked, thinking it was very coincidental that Harm was dreaming about someone that she just happened to meet that very day. "What exactly happened in this dream of yours?" she asked.

"Uh, … I was the XO Captain on a ship. There were terrorists. We needed leverage on a Russian diplomat, and you were the Marine liaison to the State Department." His eyebrows furrowed. "… You were still a Lieutenant Colonel, though."

"You said this happened in the future?" Mac asked, getting out some plates.

Harm nodded. "About a decade from now."

Mac paused to look at him. "And we separated because of our careers? That's weird. Why would I stay with the Marines if I'd never even gotten promoted over all that time?"

"I don't know," Harm answered. "And we hadn't seen each other in nine years."

Mac shook her head. "Even before we were married, six months not seeing each other took its toll." She reached in the fridge to get out their leftovers.

Harm wondered if the nine years was his subconscious drawing on the 'nine wasted years' before they acted on their feelings. Perhaps they could have had a child now if they'd started earlier.

He helped Mac fill their plates.

"We never had a baby then, huh?" Mac surmised. "We would have stayed in contact if we had had a child together."

"No child," he confirmed. "I'm not sure we ever even married."

While one dish was heating, Mac turned to Harm, "Well, at least we know this isn't a complete premonition of things to come then. … Since we are married, and I've already been promoted to full Colonel."

Harm smiled. Those facts did make him feel better about the stupid dream. "Have a seat at the table," he told her with a small kiss. "I'll bring you your plate when it's done."

…

Later, as they were settling into bed for the night, Mac couldn't help what was on her mind.

"Hey, Harm?"

"Yeah?"

"You aren't worried about us, are you?"

"Of course not," he assured her.

"It's just. … You're restless, and you're having dreams about us not being together. … And we haven't made a baby … And you _**did**_ give up an awful lot for us to be together …"

"Mac, … Sarah …" This was serious. "I'm _**not**_ having second thoughts about us. Okay? … Even in that stupid dream, I wanted to retire so I could be with you."

She nodded, but tears started to form in her eyes anyhow. She was sitting against the headboard of the bed, but curled up with her knees to her chest.

After another stretch of silence, she said, "I'd understand if you resent me. … Sometimes, I feel like I am just waiting for you to wake up and realize you chose the wrong path … when you chose me. … That we never should have done the stupid coin toss."

"Hey," Harm objected settling better beside her. "I don't ever want to wake up if us being together is the dream. … I love you. And the last few years have been the best I could ask for. … Has it been easy? No. … But I've gotten to experience being a family with you and Mattie. The move out here … following you, was the best thing in the world for her. … You think she would have recovered as well as she did without the top notch care she got at Balboa, and, more importantly, the love and support she got from _**both**_ of us?"

"Maybe not," Mac admitted.

"Of course not," said Harm. "She depended on you for things that I couldn't give her. And you and I together … we make one hell of a team. … We always have."

"But what about you?" asked Mac. "You must have regrets … wishes that you didn't have to put your career aside or on hold?"

Harm thought back to his dream and how he wasn't fulfilled having a top-level, but largely inactive role. "Sometimes career advancement isn't all it's cracked up to be," he pointed out.

"Do you want to be on active duty again?" she asked.

"I don't know," he answered honestly. "It would make applying for adoption harder if we're both on active duty," he pointed out.

She sighed. "Maybe it's your turn?" she suggested.

"What do you mean?" he asked. Surely, she couldn't mean what that implied.

But, Mac indeed clarified, "Maybe you should go back on active duty, and I should go into the reserves."

"But you're doing so well for yourself," he gently argued. "You've been really successful with this command."

"Like you said, sometimes career advancement isn't all it's cracked up to be. … And despite our success, with the political situation, I'm not sure my office will even continue to be funded for much longer."

Harm crossed his arms. "Are you really thinking about the reserves?" he asked.

Mac shrugged her shoulders. "The doctors did say that conceiving might be easier without the stresses of a command. And … maybe we could focus on the adoption process … if you were serious about that."

"I was," he assured her. "I am," he corrected.

Mac nodded. "There's a lot of options that I can consider. … So, if you want back in, … to JAG or whatever else you might want in the Navy, … I won't stand in your way. … This time, I'd follow you to a new duty station."

He shook his head. "I don't want you throwing your career away because of me," he told her.

"And I don't want you being unhappy with yours," she responded quickly. "It may be time for me to be making some changes anyhow, so I want to know what you want." She uncurled her legs and shifted, looking over at him. "So, what's important to your career, Mr. Rabb? Do you want to be back on a ship?"

"No," he reiterated what he told her before. "I do want … to be making a difference though. … I kind of miss investigations … finding out the truth."

"I could talk to Hetty about an NCIS position for you," Mac offered.

Harm made a face. "I don't think so." He still had a bit of a grudge against NCIS due to their treatment of him during the Singer murder investigation.

"I also miss working with you," he added.

She smiled at him slyly, "I'm not sure I have enough strength to keep you in line both at home and at work." She playfully bumped his shoulders with hers.

But when he narrowed his eyes at her, she admitted, "I miss working with you, too." She put her head on his shoulder.

Harm gathered her in his arms. "I guess we have some decisions to make."

"Yeah," she agreed, snuggling into his embrace.

"But you know what I want to do right now?"

"What?" she asked.

"Make love to my wife … on the couch."

The first part of his request did not surprise her, but the second part did. "We're already in bed!" she objected.

"I know, but I really want to have my way with you on our couch."

Trying to make sense of the odd request, Mac guessed the only thing that made sense. "Was this part of your sex dream?" she asked in an amused whisper.

Harm hesitated. "Not in the way you think," he finally admitted. "… It's just … a decade from now … it might not be as easy … to maneuver as it is now. I want to enjoy our options …"

Mac laughed and started touching her husband in such a way as to elicit an immediate response from him. "I love you," she told him, and he moaned in pleasure.

"You sure you want to change locations?" she asked as she slyly continued her sensuous assault.

"Mmm, we'll do this on the couch tomorrow," he conceded, kissing her and inching his hand up her nightgown. "Sarah," he did manage to briefly pause before they got too far.

"Yes?" She sensed he had something else to get off his chest before they got too hot and heavy.

"Being with you like this … I mean … being your husband … your partner, it's what I want most. More than my career or the Navy."

She knew what he was saying, but she wanted to remind him that he didn't have to be a martyr either. "I don't have a problem with your allegiance to the Navy," she assured him. "And I don't mind taking turns being on top, … so long as at the end of the day, we're together, … partner."

Harm smiled, as Mac caressed his face with one hand. Her 'allegiance' comment reminded him that in his dream, he had served on the USS Allegiance. But the most important allegiance at this point in his life was to the woman in his arms.

"Agreed." He swallowed. "You and me together. No matter what else." He started to resume his exploration.

"Always, together," Mac echoed. She kissed him soundly, distracting him entirely, before adding, "Even when you're too old to make love on the couch."

At that, Harm rolled them over so that he was definitively on top. "_**We**_ are not too old for anything yet, babe," he insisted, enjoying the challenge she was offering him. They always did push each other to be better, no matter the scenario.

Mac smiled back with a gleam in her eyes. "Show me."

. . .

Harm did show her, and, more importantly, all promises were kept. As fate would have it, that night or one of their following couch … or other encounters over the next few days, resulted in the conception of what would be one of their best achievements together. Another following accomplishment was cutting through the challenges of the adoption process to bring an additional child into the Rabb fold.

It wasn't always glamorous, and the little daily decisions and trials of family life may not have seemed to make a difference to the outside world. But the Rabb children had the two best heroes possible looking after them. Harm and Mac didn't stop having adventures, but nothing was more important than being there for their children … and each other.

The end.


End file.
